Random…

I am feeling very restless today. I have no idea what is going on in my mind. Not one stable thought, but, a mixture of them, each trying to compete with the other to make their presence felt strongly. Aaargh… Maybe it is just a reminder that life can be a tough task master inspite of being worthfully carved.

• Assumptions can prove to be so fatal. This is something I have learnt after facing the misgivings of “assuming” a few things. Great lesson learnt. It has taught me not to assume but instead ask and clarify.
• The thin line between appearing confident and appearing arrogant. I am super scared when it comes to this. I try not to appear arrogant but it so happens that I still appear a little arrogant when my confidence levels are a little high. I need to work on this pretty soon.
• The need to say “Thank You” and “Sorry”. I believe in this completely. There are times when out of the blue, I tell people thanks and sorry. They think it might be the usual dose of craziness I suffer from sometimes, but, the fact is I can never stop myself from saying the above two words when I really feel like they should be said, even if it is in the middle of the night…I just need to express my gratitude and my apologies when I feel like. Thanks to all those who understand the reason why I do this and sorry to all those who get irritated when I do this.
• Sing even if you don’t know how to sing and dance even if you don’t know how to dance. I was listening to music the other day in the bus while travelling to office and I had such a strong urge to just dance joyfully. I don’t know how to dance nor do I know how to sing. But, when am happy I still sing and dance. It gives me great joy. So what I did was I came back home that day and sang and danced away to glory. Felt awesome. Looking forward to more such times.
• Trust-hmm. I have no idea why we tend to trust people so soon. We just can’t help but trust a few people because they seem so endearing. We make them friends so soon and then tuppp the bubble breaks and we feel like first line idiots. It happens to all of us many a times. But that doesn’t stop us from trusting the others who are genuinely trustworthy. I will leave this topic here since I have nothing more to say about this. I always go by my intuition when it comes to trust and yeah sometimes my intuition does go wrong. But all is well if a lesson is learnt.
• The need to market oneself. It is very important to market yourself, the person you are, the things you do, because, no one knows you better than yourself and the other person will know about all you do only when you market yourself well. Then comes the time to prove your worth. But, before that, you need to market yourself and your skills. That is when you get the opportunity to prove your worth. I guess my marketing skills need much more polishing. I seem to be pretty bad at it. Let me prove it. I keep posting updates about my blog on facebook–my idea of marketing my blog; still, I have only three followers out of the 150 friends I have on facebook. Pretty bad stats. Is it because my blog is so “thoughtless” or is it that my marketing skills are so weak? I need to do something about this very soon. My “to-do” list seems to be getting longer.
• The need to invest to take care of our mind’s well-being. We all invest our finances for our general well-being. I will do that too. But, I feel I need to invest in something else that I know will keep my mind relaxed and peaceful at the end of the day, because, at the end of it, all that we need from life is a life worth living. I have decided to invest a part of my money in books every month so that I can have my own little library at home. Another thing that is on my wishlist is to have a vegetable and fruit garden at home, even if it is on a smaller scale. Hope and pray I can let this happen.
• Memories never fade. I miss a few people very much-Friends, teachers and a few others, in no particular order. I try not to, but, it never happens. I still end up missing them. I wish I could go back to those times whenever needed, to childhood times, school and college days and re-live those moments and cherish them much more than before. There is a song from Lakshya that perfectly suits what am feeling. It goes like this-

Kitni baatein yaad aati hai
Tasveerein si ban jaati hain
Main kaise inhein bhooloon
Dil ko kya samjhaaun

PS: I know there is no connection between each topic I have bulleted, but, like I said there was not one thought that was constant on my mind. They are just what they seem like….RANDOM.

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Colours...

I love my new blogger template…white and blue in combination is my favourite. While choosing this template, the first thing that went into my mind was, “Oh this is great. This is what I was looking for- A template that depicts the various intricacies of life” and this template does that perfectly for me through various colours.

Colours are so important in our lives. I mean, just look at everything around and the first thing that strikes is the colour of the object. Our mind perceives it so quickly. Great.  But the best part of colours is the fact that they bring along with them the message of each emotion and each event. We always tend to associate an emotion with each colour. Red-love,anger; White-purity,peace; Orange-cheerful,happy; Yellow-fresh; Black-elegance,mourning and so on and so forth. This is what intrigues me…have no idea of how it all started and how deep-rooted it is that it carries on with each generation, each person associating the same emotions with each colour. Well, like everything, there might be a few exceptions,but, on a larger scale, this works. No one teaches us about this in school like many other things which we agree on. Colour is indeed an universal language of emotions. So couldn’t find a better template. Cheers to the person who created this template.

PS: My mum feels this template is very childish. Well, to an extent, it is true. But, have you ever seen the spark in the eyes of a child when you give him/her a piece of paper and a few colour pencils? That speaks volumes about what joy it brings to the child. Same is the case with me. After all, we still have a bit of a child left in all of us.

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The madness called success and the sadness called failure…

“Success” and “failure” are two inevitable things that each one of us face in life. Some of us might have had more successes than failures and for some others it might have been the reverse. But, I really wonder what “success” and “failure” is all about. I guess the definition differs with each person depending on the priorities in life.

I have had my share of success and failures but then success never felt complete nor has failure ever felt too downtrodding. ‘Good things have their own disadvantages and bad things have their advantages’ perfectly defines my idea of the two terms in discussion. If I look back at my life till now and try deducing the meaning of success and failure that would fit in my theory, it would be something that I am going to talk about now.

For me, personally, success is all about having a fine balance in both personal and professional life. If I am doing well in my professional life and my personal life is totally screwed up, it does not define my idea of success and if am having a great personal life and my professional life is going haywire, it is the same..it does not define my idea of success. But then, personal life has a greater priority always…well, it is true even if most of us wouldn’t want to agree. It is always 60:40(personal: professional) at the least, even for those who claim to be married to their work. Anything for loved ones…right??? I would call myself successful when I wake up one morning, sane, do the best I can and better myself each day from then on to be a good daughter, a great wife, a good daughter- in-law, a good mother and a good employee if am working in a company or a good teacher if am teaching impromptu or a good writer if am writing a book or a good home maker if am managing only my home…success just lies in being good, and bettering oneself while continuously trying to make the world a better place. Success is all about being madly in love with what you want truly in your life. It is all about prioritizing and knowing when to stop and when to proceed. Old saying-Doing the right things at the right time and being at the right place!!!Ah..this is what success is all about.

Coming to failure…This is so difficult to define. Really. What really is failure??All that is not success is failure, is it?? I don’t know if there are any real failures in life. Well..I don’t feel this all the time. I do feel scared of failing in life. I have had bad failures in life, could have been worse. But then, at times like these when am relaxed and my mind is clear and I look back, the question does arise-Are there any real failures in life that cannot be corrected?? I mean at the brink of the moment when failure knocks at the door, we do feel like losers with capital L. But then, have you realized how quickly we recover from it compared to what we would have thought at the moment we step into troubled waters. All those negative, sad feelings at those times make us feel like we’ll never able to gain ground again. But doesn’t happen, does it? We humans, I feel, are inherently positive beings. We just move on with our lives, putting behind all those failures and trying to just get on with our lives, we don’t even realize when we are out of it and heading towards success. Personally, I always find myself a lot more composed and more courageous after facing major setbacks because what life has taught me in these 24 years is this- ‘ If it can go wrong, then it can go right too’.

I don’t know what I have written and what is it that I felt like posting this on my blog, but then, I felt I should and I did.

All that I now wish for is ‘During the times of success, please keep me sane enough to not let success get into my head and rule it ,and, during times of failure, please keep me sane enough to not let failure get me to bow down my head’. Amen….

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Once more…

Since most of you felt my “Bee” poem was enthralling (am being sarcastic of course), I thought I would let you read a few of my pathetic shayaris I attempted when I was in PUC!! This is to prove that am not bad only at English poems but the fact is am bad at poems in general.

The title is misleading. You guys will surely not say “once more” after reading the below lines of the so called shayaris but then I didn’t find a better name for this post. Come on, it is “once more” a pathetic post by anyone’s standards :p

Pyaara sa ek dard

Humne bhi kiya tha kisi se pyaar,

Par kar na sake unse ikraar.

Ab bhi hum unko yaad karte hain,

Lekin sirf sapno mein unka deedar karte hain.

Dosti

Aasman mein jhilmilate hain tare,

Baag mein khilkhilate hain phool sare,

Lekin mujhe khushi tab hoti hain,

Jab muskurathe hain mere dost pyaare.

Kyun?

Kyun hota hain bura achhe logon ke saath?

Kyun nahin deta Bhagwan unka saath?

Lekin hum kabhi na chodenge unka saath.

Badenge aage lekhe haathon mein haath.

Chupe-rustham

Mud ke jab woh hamari taraf dekhte hain,

Toh dil mein hamare pathaake phootthe hain.

Aur jab who humein dekhkar thoda muskurathe hain,

Toh hum mann hi mann unke ho jaate hain.

Disclaimer: This is entirely a work of fiction. No relevance or reference to any person living or living elsewhere. It is not meant to be torturous. Weak-hearted, please excuse. Am posting this disclaimer (for formality sake) after the actual shayaris instead of it being at the beginning only because I want you to read the shayaris ;) (I like being wicked) and this disclaimer is just to make sure that I don’t get blamed for the consequences.

PS: I think am pushing my luck a little too far by posting these “so called poems and shayaris”. I need to post something sensible very soon.

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Bloggie!!!! I missed you…

It has been three weeks since I last posted. It felt very annoying for not having been able to post anything…felt like I was missing something and it also felt like one of those things that we start and leave halfway. Thankfully, that is not the case, just got busy with work and a week long vacation.

Let me take this opportunity to thank all of you who have had the patience to go through my blog and for having appreciated it. It feels great. Maybe someday I will write a book ;) Coming to think of it, I have always wanted to author a book. The idea came up when I wrote my first poem-The Bee…it was the silliest thing I have ever written(wrote when I was a 9yr old) but I seriously thought the moment I wrote the poem that I had the potential to become a writer though after I grew older I realized it required me to do much more than write a silly poem about bees!!! Well, let me prove to you how silly and senseless my first poem was. So here goes the poem...I wonder how I remember each word so clearly.

The Bee…

Buzz! Buzz! came the bee,

As if it saw there was some ghee.

It called its friends and said see-see,

There is some ghee.

Among them, there was one she-bee,

She said I’ll see-see,

If it is little poisoned, we’ll get TB,

Hearing to this, all the bees laughed hee-hee.

PS: Sorry Shru…I know you hate it!!!

Now this reminds me of my childhood days. I guess it is the same with all of you that during childhood the answer to “What do you want to become when you grow up” kept changing every other year. I wanted to become a writer (I still want to pursue that and am currently living it through my blog) and the idea originated after writing, ahem, The Bee. Then I wanted to become a Scientist. I have been one, atleast held that designation, even though for a short while. I also wanted to become a chef sometime when I was in my teens. Ah…my mum gives me that opportunity every time she is out of town. So I think I have pretty much been everything I wanted to be. Whoever said that you can’t do all that you want to do in one life!!!

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............

I have absolutely nothing to post this week. I have so many things on my mind that it is difficult to put it all in words. I guess am becoming too philosophical nowadays. Looks like am suffering from an overdose of “being positive” syndrome.

Today, I finished reading an awesome book called “The Greatness Guide”. A big fan of Robin Sharma now. All thanks to junior Robin ;) It is not that he talks about anything out of the world but his writing style is so simple that you can connect with him very well. That is the reason all great writers are not those who have an exemplary hold on the language but are the ones who write in a manner in which we can see our life’s reflections in their works.

I think I have spent my past week introspecting a little too much. My brain is currently cluttered with so many thoughts that I can feel them resonating in my brain at unimaginable wavelengths. Few thoughts that are going on in my mind currently are:

The way we celebrate festivals has changed so much. The spirit of the festivity is there but it is not the same as before. There is that lull feeling that was never there during childhood. Festivities now mean not more than a mere holiday. Maybe it is just a phase…it will all change someday.

The need to contribute to a social cause. We all do contribute in some way or the other, knowingly or unknowingly, but I still need to work on this and contribute a little more. Everyday I pass by the low income areas and see the struggles the people face there, I feel blessed to be where I am. Truly, am not saying this because it needs to be said but it is because I observe them everyday of my life and sometimes it does send a chill down my spine. It really does.

The importance of building and nurturing relationships. Be it at the home front or be it in professional life. By relationships, I don’t mean that we make brothers, sisters or friends of every person we know, but, it is important to build that connection to succeed in all areas of life. Relationships do provide the net that rescues us when we fall, makes the fall less painful.

People come and go in life ,but, life still continues without a comma or a fullstop. I still wonder why people come into our lives if they were never meant to stay for a lifetime. People who meant so much once upon a time mean nothing all of a sudden, doesn’t happen, does it? They always have a special place which always make the most cherished memories in life because these are the instances that teach you that life continues even without the few close people you always liked spending time with, it teaches you things about yourself you never knew, it teaches you to be strong after having been brittle. Love you all.

The need to say what’s on your mind. I strongly believe in this. Always say what is on your mind. Positive or negative stuff. It might ruin the moment but might help not ruin your life. If the person knows you enough to not misunderstand you, then something positive will definitely fruit out from it. It is always better to regret having said it than having to regret not having said it. It is not feasible to read everyone’s mind every time. What if the other person has the same thing in mind and is scared to say it just as you are. No one says anything and it ends there. Not good. No questions. No answers. Just plain thoughts as to what could have happened if one of them had the courage to say it and sort it out.

To achieve great success in life, you need to be a shoe-kisser,corrupt and insincere. I am not the one to use cuss words but my apologies, this is the ultimate bull****. I believe you can still achieve success by standing your own ground, following your own principles without even fearing if success will follow you. Doing your work sincerely everyday of your life is more than enough to achieve success. If not now, success will kiss your feet some other time, but it surely will.

The best thing that I have learnt today. Give in your best and then let go. I have realized that previously I have always thought about the results I’d get from the work I chose to do, enjoyed it, but, not as much as now. Results are important, rather, very important ,but, if you enjoy the process, results always turn out to be great. That is what passion is all about…enjoying what you do.

Never lie to yourself. No one knows us better than ourselves. Feeling sad, cry. Feeling happy, laugh. Don’t control your emotions. It is not meant to be controlled. One night of break down for a small “large” problem (well… I mean the ones that can be handled but not at that moment) can help you get up fresh the next day. Just tell yourself that it will just be a night of break down without affecting your everyday chore the next day. Helps. Really it does. Tried and tested personally.

Disclaimer: Not trying to be Robin in tow:) Just speaking my mind....

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Why XYs cannot understand XXs and vice versa…

First of all, there was no need for me to use XX and XYs; I could have instead used the terms men and women directly, but, from my previous posts, you must have known by now that I have a liking for everything that accentuates my “nautanki” image. Believe me, I look innocent but I am a very melodramatic person and like all Leos am proud of it and that is how I guess I keep myself entertained, for, I have no siblings to give me a dose of entertainment everyday. But I think this is all restricted to how I am with my friends and close ones and this image doesn’t carry over to my professional life or does it??Aaargh...now a question arises in my mind if I am a victim of split personality disorder!!!Anyway forget me and my not so thoughtful thinking.

Coming back to the topic, the universal problem to which no scientist till now has found an answer- Why is it so difficult for men and women to think on the same lines??I guess even the question of if egg came first or the hen would get resolved but this question would never find an answer…atleast not a reasonable one. I can vouch for this.

I am not taking anyone’s side. I know we aren’t structured to think alike in most of the matters. Only in a few matters do we think alike. But most of the times, it is always a different opinion. We might come to the same conclusion but reasons might never be the same. We girls always flag the issues about emotions and guys always flag the issues of practicality. If we think from our right side of the brains most of the time, they use their left side of their brains. Complementary right? ;)

I am not here to talk about who is better or something. I was just thinking of it today as to how great a thinker our creator must be. He planned it out so well that there’s always something that complements each creation of his. There are always two halves, mirror images, each complementing the other, each distinct from the other, each an independent entity by itself, but, when these two halves complement each other, then the so called ‘stability’ dawns. Without one, the other wouldn’t get the importance it gets now. Good wouldn’t be so important if there was no bad, water  wouldn’t be so important if there was no fire, positive wouldn’t be so important if there was no negative and happiness wouldn’t be so dear if there was no sadness. Same is the case with men and women. Without men, women wouldn’t be so important and without women, men wouldn’t be so important. Life would be so boring and dull and the sad part, there would be no “love stories”. Great thinking God…kudos to you. But one request God, can you please make men a little more emotional, little more understanding and most importantly a little more shopaholic?? Well…I am not asking for more, am I? ;)

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Quarter life crisis...

Have you ever thought that even the tiniest of problems between the age of 18-28 feels like they are the greatest problems you’ll ever face in life?? Obvious, isn’t it, for before 18, our parents take care of all our problems and, after 30, life would have thrown us into so many problems that any problem seems like it can be handled without creating much fuss .But problems between 18-28 seem the most  intriguing ones. For some of us, it is more evident and for others, they are like the undercurrents in the sea, though not visible, still making their presence felt strongly.

Just thinking of it, it all begins in college itself.  Keeping up with ever changing fashion trends, falling in love, heart breaks, ups and downs in friendships, defining relationships, financial troubles (well, low pocket money can be defined as financial problem at that age right?), doing well in academics, trying to catch the attention of that handsome hunk or the pretty girl whose one look feels like it will change whole of your life ..all these seem like mind boggling problems at that age.

Then comes the age of choosing a career path, finding the so called “right job”.  Tests, interviews and then choosing between so many options that all crop up at the same time. Finally after managing to choose the right job, you need to deal with the work life pressures, be it the clientele pressures, professional jealousy or the pressure of doing the job assigned consistently well.

Simultaneously, at home, starts the “marriage” topic. This I tell you is a real crisis. Firstly, if you are in love and the guy or a girl doesn’t match your parents’ choice, then you are doomed till it settles alright. “Emotional atyachar” is what will start at home. Mums crying, dads giving you long lectures, siblings looking at you like you have committed a crime that requires nothing less than a life term sentence. Ooofff!!!Thankfully I don’t belong to this category.

Secondly, if you don’t fall into the first category, then it is the usual bickerings at home as to how the guy should be. Well, I belong to this category so I will settle for the term “guy”:). It is such a problem. So many possibilities here. You like the guy but your parents don’t like him, you don’t like the guy but he and his parents are behind you, both you and the guy like each other but something else doesn’t work out. Everything needs to be matched- horoscopes, compatibility, height, weight, colour and God knows what all. On top of all this, people tend to ask your parents all the time “Oh, so you still haven’t found a son-in-law?” Then starts the emotional atyachar followed by a lecture on the compromises you need to make and settle down with someone before the time runs out. Hopeless situation!! You can’t blame your parents nor can you settle in for someone you might not like. You leave it all to God thinking He will get you out of trouble. And he surely will but might take time. Till then, it is a constant bickering at home.

So crisis it is right?? Well, not really I guess. It is all a part of life and let me tell you, I love facing my quarter life crisis…feels thrilling, keeps life happening though sometimes I do feel like running away from all these.But I am sure 50 years down the line when I would look back at all the problems or “so called problems” between 18-28, I would surely laugh at all of them and think what an idiot I must have been at that time and if I could have handled them differently, maybe in a more dignified way. But now at 24, I would term them nothing but “quarter life crisis”.

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I love “love stories”…

Love stories…you love them, hate them but you just can’t ignore them…

Let me confess here that am a big big big fan of love stories and a bigger fan of “love” itself. I have no idea how it is being in love  though every crush I have had on any guy felt like it must be love, but, when the crush faded, so did the feeling of love and I know the feeling of love doesn’t fade when it is “actual” love. I still love my parents, bro, Puchhu no matter how many differences I might have with them (Puchhu excluded) and this is the scale I use to measure love because love, like many other things, is a relative term. The kind of love might be different but the baseline feeling behind any kind of love is the same, isn’t it?

Anyway, let me return to the actual topic…Love stories. I don’t know when I first read the book Erich Segal’s 'Love Story' ; I guess it was when I was in my PU and it was then that I fell in love with love itself. I don’t know if it was the beauty of the story or something else but that was the start of my inclination towards love and love stories.

'Pride and Prejudice' made the feeling grow stronger. I am such a big fan of the characters in the book that I always thought that I’d be the happiest if my guy would be like Darcy. So as the years passed by, my idea of love kept changing and also the way I related to love stories.

I still remember religiously following a daily soap which had love as the main theme. I felt happy whenever the hero met the heroine and everything was running smooth in their lives and I cried every time they had to breakup or something wrong happened in their lives. I was so involved that it hurt to see the sad endings of love stories. For me, love stories needed to end happily……always. This was a few years ago.

But, now, it has all changed. I still love “love stories”. I still love the idea that someone somewhere will love me the same way like I will love him and he will be as romantic as Sharukh Khan in any of his movies and as practical and caring as Darcy. I still love the fact that that one person will be exclusively mine and I will be exclusively his. So what has changed?

Hmmm…love plus marriage or vice versa feels a priority now. To just think of the fact, that with an exclusive person to care for, you also get an extra set of parents, siblings, is a great feeling; maybe much more to me since am a single child and I have missed having people around, not much, but I have, and being a people’s person, I love being surrounded by near and dear ones. So cheers to the institution of marriage, to love and to love stories.

Waiting eagerly to find the love of my life…will be nice if he comes loaded with intelligence, focus in life and a great attitude towards life itself. Amen...

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Change is constant...

                                      

“Change is constant” has been the theme for the week gone by. But if I look at the deeper meaning of the phrase, it strikes me that it has been the theme of my life like most of you.

From being a small girl who used to hold her dad’s finger and go for a walk every evening to being a lady who is anticipating marriage, life has changed a lot. Some changes have been positive and some, if not negative, have changed the way I look at certain things. I guess it has been the same with you all.

Change teaches you to be flexible, to be ready to face challenges that life has in store and to forget the past and live in the present. Basically, change teaches you that your plans can go haywire anytime:)

Well, after writing this post, I feel I need to “change” the topics I choose..!!

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Forever yours...

This is something I wrote a long time back which I thought was pretty good and sent it to a newspaper.It never got published :p

So I thought I would paste the "not so good article" here so that atleast a few of you get to read it.

It was a very cold and breezy night when I first saw her.She was anything but beautiful.She was lean with rashes all over her body,salivating profusely,looked frightened and hungry,though,till today I haven't been able to decipher if she looked more hungry or more frightened. She was immediately fed and has been a loyal companion from then on.

It has been six years since that night and she has stayed on with me, following me everywhere with her tail wagging so fast that I fear it might fall off someday. She is my dear Puchhu-a brown coloured, hugely built dog with beautiful eyes. I don't know if she was born a stray or if her owner abandoned her to fend for herself and her litter of eight pups.Whatever be the reason, she was destined to be my companion.She seems to be loved by everyone in the neighbourhood and she devotes her time,if not equally,to all of them.She loves having somone around her all the time and is an absolute attention seeker-always climbing on the wall and peeping through the window or knocking at the door and making noises to make sure we are reminded of her presence every five minutes.

Coming to my association with her, I truly feel she is a God sent angel in my life.She came to me when I was not so happy in life and has given me immense love and happiness throughout.The best thing about her or for that matter all dogs is that they are not judgemental.My circumstantial behaviour doesn't seem to influence her love for me.She is there to love me and love me somemore whatever the situation might be.At times,when I am sad,she comes and sits besides me,putting her paw on my palm as if to say- 'Hey buddy,don't you worry.Everything will be alright.No matter who you are or what you'll become,I'll always be there for you.'

She has been there for me throughout the good and the bad times and am so very lucky to have her in my life.She has been a great companion all these years and am sure will remain so even in the future,for,her love is unconditional unlike us humans who come with a tagline "conditions apply".

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Why am I here?

I have always felt the need to write and express myself.Writing has always been a passion which I have religiously pursued for a very long time.But, it was all limited to either writing as a hobby or for school and college magazines.

From a year or so,writing has taken a backseat.But yesteday,while writing a mail,a rather long one,it just crossed my mind as to why not start writing on my own blog.So here I am to pen down my thoughts and share it with the virtual world.

A question now arises as to what my blog will be all about.Well, it can be about anything;anything I feel is worth penning down.It might include any thought originating from either the left or the right side of my brain.

So I welcome you all to my page and I hope I can make it a pleasurable read for all of you.Open to comments,both positive and negative.So,lets begin the journey...

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