I
feel empty today. I feel very restless. I can feel my thoughts
tying me down. As I struggle to come in terms with the way I am feeling, I ask
myself "Did I go wrong?".
The
fear of going wrong has always been a constant fear for me. It pops up all the
time like those fungi on a rotten piece of vegetable. So, am I the fungus or am
I the vegetable? I am both. I fear and hence I am the fear I have. Confusing? You will get it in due course.
I am
being very blunt today, am I not? It happens all the time when I am in a mood
like this. But, today, I don't feel like saying a sorry for my bluntness.
I want to be me and be in the mood I am in and express the mood I am in. For
me, it is a bold step but I have got to be real. I have got to be me to be peaceful
- to be peaceful with the world around me and most importantly, to be peaceful
with myself.
I
always fear losing myself to the intricacies of life. I fear that I will
lose myself when I try pleasing others or stick to the image others have of me. It surely is not easy being yourself and being bold and being real in this
world. But, there are exceptions - exceptions who require to be
applauded.
