Wednesday, May 22, 2013

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Crazy title? Not really, there are so many underlying emotions associated with "milk". Sic sic.
Err..I will stop being a shitty piece of melodramatic fur ball that I am and tell you why I hate milk ! Wait a minute, from the title, did you by any chance think that I love milk? No, not even in my dreams can I love milk.  And when I say milk, I refer to the white, frothy, plain, liquid source of the so called "very important calcium". 

It all started 27 years ago, (I will be 27 this August, wish me "Happy B'day", ok? *Rolls her eyes and thinks how much more lame can she get*) , when I was a baby. I don't remember if I hated milk then but my mommy tells me that I was a terror to be breastfed. I realise it is such a pain for the small babies to drink the same plain milk for months together. I would have preferred atleast flavored milk, or say, a pizza to munch along with it, but, I don't know why, mommy doesn't agree. Mommies, I say, are very stubborn.

The hatred grew stronger with age. My mom would run behind me with a glass of milk every single day. She tried to feed me plain milk, Complan, Horlicks, Bournvita, Boost, etc but I wouldn't budge. I cried, wailed, woke up the neighbours but I refused to drink milk. One day she asked me as to why I hated milk so much. I told her, "I can smell the cow/buffalo in the milk and it stinks so horribly that my nose wants to go hide somewhere at the sight of milk". Wait a minute, does nose see? Forget it, let me continue. So, according to her, the problem was the smell. Wrong. The problem was bigger. It was the smell, the taste and the texture. 

My mom couldn't cope up with the tantrum I threw on seeing milk. So, she decided to leave me and the milk alone so that we could bond over time. She was wrong. I was elated when she left me alone with the milk. I found so many new ways to dispose off the milk that my mom didn't know what method I would use next. When mom wasn't around, I would pour the milk in the sink, sometimes, in the bathroom. But she found out. I wasn't the one to give up. I found a new way to dispose it off. I would go feed the milk to our "Sapota/ Chikoo" tree. Believe me, I am responsible for the ever sweet, most tasty fruits we get every year from that tree. I fed it the nutrition it wanted, depriving myself of it. I am so proud of my sacrifice.

Mom stopped telling me to drink milk as I grew older. She started giving me curd, buttermilk, ice creams, milkshakes, flavoured milk as substitutes which I enjoyed. I hated only plain milk you see.  Only if she had thought of all this before, she would have freed herself from so much hassle. 

Present day situation is no different. They say "In life, opposites attract". It is true. My husband loves milk. I can't appreciate the fact for reasons you already know. But, he hates fruit. So, now we have found a way where both of us drink milk and eat fruit without cribbing - thanks to milkshake. I drink milkshake thinking it has fruits and my husband drinks milkshake thinking it has milk. It is all about perception you see.

P.S. : I have no idea why there is no connection between the various paragraphs of this post. *Realises that it is the same with all her posts and smirks.*

22 comments:

  1. What a great read! So much for your milky woes! I wonder what would you do with your children when they refuse milk! lol !

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    1. I am a great cribber, if there is such a word :p I can crib endlessly about things I don't like :)
      Good to know you liked it ! Thanks :)

      About my kids refusing milk, milkshake should work with them or that is what I hope.

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  2. Good to see the inception of this post and its implementation on the very next day :D

    Well, I was and I am always a milk lover, my mom was fortunate in my case as I saved her from that extra exercise but my younger brother made them do all those parental tantrums and it was me who used to tell my parents if he ever dispose it off :).... I know that's so cruel on little ones.

    Once I was travelling to Jammu by train and there I saw a family where the mother used to feed milk to his son forcibly by the help of big dropper. :)

    So, if parents want to feed you milk in anyway then they can also find many ways for it apart from the ways children find it to escape from it. It depends who is more determined.

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    1. That's so cruel of you..poor brother of yours :p

      True...it is all about perception, determination. Wow...my mindless post also has an underlying philosophy :D

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  3. I love milk but now I drink the different and preferred versions of it. BTW, he hates all the fruits?

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    1. Are you referring to the different versions of fat free milk you get here? I get confused with the 2% fat, 4% fat, fat free milk, Vit-D containing variations. :p
      Only after coming here, have I found so many variations of plain milk :)

      No fruit will he pick up himself and eat. So, I guess he dislikes most of them. If I cut and give it to him, removing the peel and the seeds, he'd probably eat :)

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  4. Haha true..sometimes what we hate seems to be coming with us all along. But though I dont prefer plain milk , I indulge in Tea versions of milk. Try it!

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    1. Happy to know you don't like plain milk, welcome to the club :) I can have milk in any other form, be it tea, coffee or milkshakes :)

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  5. I like milk, punjabi you see. But I like all sort of drinks now. Also, randomness is fun ♥

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    1. I know Punjabis love their milk and I love this Punjabi kudi who is an awesome blogger <3

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  6. Very well written Pooja, I loved every bit of your rant on how you abhor milk and how you have bridged your gaps with your husband who admires it so much!

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    1. Thanks Mallika :-) Nice to see you here..

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  7. hii pooja, new to your blog...:D
    one thing i would love to share is i too hate MILK...>_< it tastes yuckk..!!
    And instead of it i used to ask for ice creams made or milk as a source of calcium when i was a child...:D
    keep writing..:)

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    1. Thanks a lot and welcome to thoughtless :-) I think I should start a forum of people who hate milk ;)

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  8. Milkshake, the secret behind happily ever afters :-)

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    1. True :) Nice to see you here Purba :)

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  9. First of all thanks for providing the information that sapota is Chikoo.. This was the most perplexing thing for me to see in my short stint in Bangalore. Never figured out what the heck a sapota is :-P


    And now about the post. Seemed like there was no connection between one line and the next :-D


    So obviously I loved it.. Seems like reading something which I would write :-)



    P. S. I love milk.... But only with some Chocolaty powder in it.

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    1. Welcome back again :p *After so many gimmicks of mine, you are finally back*

      Chocolaty powder eh? I would prefer the milk in my chocolate rather than chocolate in my milk :D

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  10. I hated milk growing up. Can't recall the reason, probably something to do with the smell. When Amul introduced flavoured milk, I absolutely loved it. These days I can drink milk with no tantrums :)

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    1. Thanks to Amul...most of us manage to get a daily dose of calcium :)

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  11. I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum. I love milk! Especially if it's chocolatey :) I can consume liters of curd in one go too. Yum!

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    1. I love curd, especially, the flavoured ones..yummy :D

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