Sunday, December 22, 2013

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Brownie!!

"Mamma, get me some biscuits", shouted Brownie, the little dog with light brown fur and a small ever-wagging tail. "Why do you always want everyone else to do your job? Why can't you get up and get it for yourself?", yelled his mom. "Mamma, I am sitting and watching my friends play", replied Brownie. His mother brought him some biscuits and said, "Brownie, you should learn to do your work all by yourself. You are growing up fast now. You are strong enough to do these little things all by yourself." Brownie looked at his mom, wagged his tail and started eating his biscuits with joy.

Days passed and Brownie grew bigger and became more lazy. He never went out to play nor did he move around his house to do his work. All he did was tell his parents or his sister to do his work. Everyone at home was very irritated with his behaviour and decided to teach him a lesson. 


One day, Brownie was sitting and munching on his bones when he felt very thirsty. He called out to his sister, "Cookie, can you get me some water to drink?" Cookie realised it was the right time to teach him a lesson. She mixed a spoonful of bitter melon juice into his water and gave it to him. Brownie, without realising what his sister had done, drank the water in one gulp. The water was so bitter that Brownie started pleading Cookie to get him some sugar to make the bitter taste go away. Cookie refused saying, "If you want sugar, go get it yourself." Brownie hated the bitter taste in his mouth and ran to get some sugar. But, he found no sugar at home. He then ran out of his house searching for sugar. 

He found his mother outside, sitting on a high wall. He also saw some sugar biscuits besides her. He jumped on the high wall and said, "Mamma, can I have some sugar biscuits? My mouth is very bitter. Sister Cookie has become very naughty. She added bitter melon juice to my drinking water. You should punish her." His mom laughed and said, "Brownie, Cookie did that only because your dad and I told her to do it. We wanted to teach you a lesson. Had you gone and fetched water for yourself in the first place, you wouldn't have had to run about the house and jump and climb this high wall and get yourself so tired." 

Brownie hung his head down in shame realising his mistake. He said, "Mamma, I am really sorry for all the times I have made you run around for my work. I understand everyone is busy with their work. So, I should do these little things all by myself. I promise I will do it myself from now on. Also, I will help you around  the house whenever I can with the little tasks." Mamma hugged Brownie tight, rested her paw on his head, and said, "You are a good dog, Brownie. One day, you will make your mamma proud." Brownie smiled and munched on his sugar biscuits.

Moral of the story: Never ask others to do your little tasks that you can yourself do.


NOTE: This is part of the December Exercise for the Indifiction Workshop wherein we have to write a story where all characters are animals for children of age 7-10.
*This story is mostly targeting children aged 7-8 years.



18 comments:

  1. Haha ! U reminded me of childhood days, moral stories :)

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  2. Nice story.. Good Moral too.. :) :)

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  3. Even if it is targeting kids of 7-8 years old its a lesson to all ! Something to think on. Seriously why to wait till the taste turns bitter :)
    Good one Pooja

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    1. I wrote it to remind myself also of the fact. ;)

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  4. Well written Pooja ! You can author a story book for children:)

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  5. Brownie's sister cookie and with this you won some brownie points, lol.

    I loved it. Wish you have written it in greater details. It would be more fun. Please do it next time you write for this age group. :)

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    1. Thanks a lot Saru. :) Next time I write, I will keep it in mind. I realise I need to put in more details. :)

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  6. Well written story Pooja! Simple and up to the point :).
    My daughter loved the story too esp. with the names cookies and brownie. I had to agree with Saru points above esp. when targeting above age 6 groups otherwise the story was a very good read :)

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    1. Thanks Uma. :) Thanks to Vidula too. :) Yep, next time, will include the details.

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  7. Pooja...while reading this story, I could only think of one thing "awww...this is so sweet"...and I loved the names....highly appropriate and fun names :)

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    1. Thanks Pankti. <3 Brownies and cookies...christmas season you see. :p

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  8. Very nice. Correct for a child - Yes as others have pointed out descriptions could have been more elaborate. Also you could have gone more into the mind of the character. Thant does not change whatever type of story. For an adult, you put adult thoughts. For a child you put child thoughts. But some getting into the skin of character is necessary.

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    1. Thanks a lot. :) I will keep the points in mind and will come up with something more elaborate. Thanks for conducting the exercise. It was a pleasure participating. :)

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