How to create a traffic jam when it comes to your blog traffic.

Friends: Friends come in handy when you are new to blogging and even afterwards. Pester them, blackmail them, bribe them. Do not worry much about CBI/Lokayukta/Lokpal(incase it gets accepted) because they all are currently busy with their own issues. In case the above said ideas don’t work, then just use the tried and tested method which is “Tum apne dost ke liye itna nahi kar sakthe? ( Can you not do even this much for your friend?)”. Make sure you add in a little melodrama when you ask them the above question. If you are bad at it, then you can take a course in it by watching any of the Saas-Bahu serials. Make sure you don’t overact. It can prove to be addictive.

After all, Har ek friend zaroori hota hain like Airtel rightly puts it.

Family: Once again, pester them, blackmail them and do not bribe them since you would be using their own money to bribe them in case you are still studying and if you are earning, they would feel like you are showing off. So no bribing. Puppy face can do the trick. If you are bad at making faces, most of them are not. In case you are among the selected few who are bad at making faces in general and puppy face in particular, then Google puppy face and see the expression and practice the same in front of a mirror. Practice makes a man perfect you know. Try it out, no harm.

After all, family comes first.

Facebook and Twitter: Thanks to these social networking sites, life has become so much more impersonal. Every Tom, Dick and Harry knows every other Eena, Meena and Deeka. Post all updates about your blog on these and ‘some’ people are so used to clicking on the ‘like’ and ‘share’ button that they would be tempted to click on it anyways even without reading the posts. Seeing the number of likes and shares, some actual reader might read your blog and so the job gets done anyway.

After all, sharing is caring.

Spread the word: Try talking about your blog to everyone you meet , so much so that the other person should get so irritated that he/she will want to have a look at your blog to see what is so special about it. Liking your blog, following it is secondary. Atleast, your page-view stats stand increased.

After all, Dimag ki dahi nikhalna is not a bachho ka khel.

Optimizing post titles using SEOs: Have post titles that have no relation to the actual post just for the SEO to work its magic. And tadaaa… your blog has a better rank in the web world irrespective of what you post.

After all, web is what you make of it.

Disclaimer: This is just a light hearted post. No reference to anyone anywhere.

Confession: I also have tried these tricks when I was very new to blogging.

Conclusion: The above said tricks do not work. If you are truly passionate about blogging and want ‘actual readers’ to read your blog and follow it, then there is ‘one and only, tried and tested and proven method’ - Write passionately. It will surely strike a chord somewhere. Till then, Happy Blogging.